The Silly and Massive Dungeon Master Christmas Story 2006

ian_scho · Post by **ian_scho** » Fri Dec 22, 2006 8:02 am

"Muuaaaaagghhhh!" screamed Alex, breaking various...

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Fri Dec 22, 2006 8:47 am

...laws in the dungeon they had walked in to. Suddenly a false wall was opened up and a set of clanking...

ian_scho · Post by **ian_scho** » Fri Dec 22, 2006 9:23 am

Michael Jackson lookalikes popped into view, wearing various pieces of cutlery. "Just Beat It!" shouted...

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Fri Dec 22, 2006 9:32 am

... Stamm, "or we shall have to engage in Thrilla Killa!" HE took out his axe from his belt, then realised his trousers were still aorund his ankles to what he had actually grabbed was Halk's...

ian_scho · Post by **ian_scho** » Fri Dec 22, 2006 10:00 am

Sword of Porc.

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Fri Dec 22, 2006 10:06 am

What mystical powers it possessed Stamm did not have time to find out, he leapt with menace to defend Alex and impress Syra, beating the Michael Jaskson look alikes to death with it.

ian_scho · Post by **ian_scho** » Fri Dec 22, 2006 10:20 am

It all ended in in a shower of puss and blood, which thankfully turned into a cloud of dust - "Cough! Cough!" went...

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Fri Dec 22, 2006 11:37 am

...Darouu's blue brother Phil, "my singing voice, my beautiful singing voice, what shall I do now!" "Well," said Alex, "you could let go of me then..."

ian_scho · Post by **ian_scho** » Fri Dec 22, 2006 1:51 pm

and lets get out of here!". Alex had foolishly hoped that he'd be home by Christmas.

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Fri Dec 22, 2006 2:10 pm

"For Sommerlund and the Kai!" yelled Linflas with weapon raised, then realising he was in the wrong story and also realising that Stamm had killed all the opponents - he was therefore taken unawares when a menace from behind took him, ...

Post by **Gambit37** » Fri Dec 22, 2006 2:55 pm

turned him around and gave him a big wet sloppy kiss on the lips while holding a sprig of mistletoe above them. He winked at Linflas and said...

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Fri Dec 22, 2006 3:00 pm

... "Leyla and I were wondering if you wanted to join us later." The figure, Mophus, then gave Linflas a broad terrifying grin that made Linflas...

Post by **Gambit37** » Fri Dec 22, 2006 3:05 pm

...go weak at the knees and say, "Oh alright then, but only if...

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Fri Dec 22, 2006 3:10 pm

... I get to use the rope." Mophus looked disappointed and angry and turned away, tripping over a miniature screamer that had slithered in from ...

Post by **Gambit37** » Fri Dec 22, 2006 3:13 pm

it's secret lair, the bonsai cage that was cleverly hidden between the sixteen crates of Diamond White and the smelly bales of...

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Fri Dec 22, 2006 3:34 pm

...tied up barbarian adventurers. "Bob!" said Halk overjoyed, "I thought you'd just ran off without paying...whatever happened with the..."

Post by **Gambit37** » Fri Dec 22, 2006 3:37 pm

special order of Moist Jockstraps? Did you get it on super-saver delivery in time for Christmas or was it...

Post by **cowsmanaut** » Fri Dec 22, 2006 11:22 pm

..not on sale and Henry Haggis just lying again, that good for nothign sunofa..." Halk continued muttering obsenities while Bob simply nodded hoping he would finish soon and untie him so he could ...

Post by **Gambit37** » Sat Dec 23, 2006 3:48 am

have an almighty slash -- his bladder was excessively bloated and looked rather like an engorged melon.

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Tue Dec 26, 2006 12:06 am

'I'm hungry,' thought Daroou and Phil simultaneously.

ian_scho · Post by **ian_scho** » Tue Dec 26, 2006 8:11 am

'Geoffrey' the screamer did a 'screamer first' and produced a gutteral "ROAR", much to the surprise of the bushy brothers (Daroo & Phil) who promptly...

Post by **Ameena** » Wed Dec 27, 2006 12:33 am

...shrieked and fainted like a pair of wimpy little doinks.

ian_scho · Post by **ian_scho** » Wed Dec 27, 2006 9:04 am

As Phil and Daroou fell the action of fur rapidly rubbing against the screamer's skin caused a static charge which ignited the highly volatile gases emitting from the screamers pores thereby causing ...

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Wed Dec 27, 2006 10:49 am

...Alex to dance around in glee yelling, "Fire! Fire!" The flames licked everything like a lurid lacivious..well, Stamm...and the barbarians tied up found their freedom when their binding ropes burned away, at the cost of their..

ian_scho · Post by **ian_scho** » Wed Dec 27, 2006 11:30 am

collective chest hair. This particular tribe of barbarians were famous for a preference in choosing partners who were hairier and saggier than others, so would be returning home later 'hair-free' to the dismay of their ...

Post by **Ameena** » Wed Dec 27, 2006 4:20 pm

...husbands, who would most likely have to beat themselves over the head with large pieces of wood until they (the pieces of wood) broke. Meanwhile, ...

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Wed Dec 27, 2006 5:15 pm

...Alex's boots had caught fire, and he was tied in emotions between complete escstatic joy and complete pain filled terror. He settled on...

ian_scho · Post by **ian_scho** » Wed Dec 27, 2006 5:22 pm

the screamer that had imploded upon contact with his backside. A large rush of air could be heard emitting from...

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Wed Dec 27, 2006 6:33 pm

...Tiggy, who had bad wind all night but had been waiting for the right moment to get rid of it. She pojnted at the scremer and Alex drunkenly, but still had a hold of her wand and so...

ian_scho · Post by **ian_scho** » Wed Dec 27, 2006 6:41 pm

accidentally let loose a side winding fireball which completely missed Alex but smacked into what was left of the screamer. Normally she was so fiable with magic, but the effect of alchol and pork scratchings left her...